There are few things as enjoyable as sliding your dick into a nice tight asshole. Anal sex has a very distinct and pleasurable feeling that most guys love. Additionally, there’s something taboo about banging a girl through her backdoor. It’s raw, dirty, and exciting.
In an attempt to capture the magic of anal sex FunZone has created a special synthetic anus for your pleasure. If you want to experience the glory of anal sex but don’t have a partner who’s willing to do it, this can be a good alternative.
The FunZone Vulcan Ripe Anus is very inexpensive (costing less than $15 through Amazon), discreet, and reusable. While not as good as some of the more expensive brands on the market, like Fleshlight, this toy is a great value. It doesn’t cost a whole lot and still feels awesome when you fuck it.
However, the unit isn’t without its flaws. There are some stupid design choices that many users hate. Fortunately, all of these can be remedied and I’ll show you how later in this article. But first you should know a little about the toy and what makes it so worthwhile.
About The FunZone Vulcan Ripe Anus
This toy is pretty straightforward. It’s a male masturbator designed to simulate anal sex. It isn’t modeled after a pornstar and there are no crazy textures for you to run your penis through. In fact, the only thing on the inside of this toy are a couple rows of slightly raised bumps. These create a very subtle but enjoyable sensation. The feeling you experience probably won’t compare to a more expensive brand’s products, like Tenga or Fleshlight, but FunZone Vulcan is also only a fraction of the price. And it can be used over and over again. The similarly priced Tenga cups are one shot deals (pardon the pun), as soon as you blow your load you have to throw them out since they’re impossible to clean. This toy, on the other hand, can be rinsed out and used as many times as you’d like.
Because of the low cost and ability to be reused, I think that this is the perfect toy for guys looking to try their first male masturbator.
(I’ve had my unit for over a month and it’s held up great)
Despite the low cost, the FunZone Vulcan Ripe Anus has a lot to offer you. Below are just a few of the highlights that make this cheap toy an incredibly good value:
- The toy is reusable – Most sex toys under $25 are one time use only. This one is not. The sleeve can be taken out of the container and washed. This allows you to fuck it, clean up your mess, and then use it again. With this unit you can enjoy the thrill of anal sex as often as you want.
- Getting inside is a tight fit – The first time you penetrate this toy is like taking a girl’s anal virginity (minus the discomfort for her). It’s super tight and will grip your shaft as you try and thrust your way inside. As long as you have enough lube you’re in for an unforgettably good time.
- This is one of the least expensive sex toys on the market – You can buy this toy for about $12 on Amazon. If you masturbate with it once a day for two weeks it ends up costing you less than 86 cents per session. There’s no other place in the world where you can get sex that cheap.
- Clean up is a quick and easy – Whenever I finish using this toy I take it to the sink, flip the sleeve inside out, and rinse it with warm water. I then dry it off with a rag towel. The whole process will take you less than 3 minutes, something that’s especially nice when you’re in a hurry.
- The design is small enough to hide anywhere – If you’re worried about prying eyes you can easily stuff this toy in a sock drawer and no one will be the wiser. It’s compact enough that you can actually fit it inside a pair of pants pockets, making it easy to transport from room to room.
In the review section on Amazon this toy gets a lot of hate. So much so that I was kind of nervous about ordering. Fortunately, many of the complaints are completely overblown. In fact, there were only two real issues that I had with my unit:
- Initially poor suction – The person who designed this toy added to little holes with a plastic cord to the back of the unit. This serves no purpose (that I’m aware of) and really reduces the suction you’ll experience.
- Loud – This toy sounds a like you’re having real sex. It makes squishing sounds, and there’s an audible “pop” whenever you pull your dick out. This isn’t bad if you live alone, but it’s going to attract some attention if you’ve got roommates or family around.
While these two issues sound terrible, they’re actually quite easy to fix. In the next section I’ll explain exactly how you can solve them. But first, there’s one last criticism that needs to be addressed.
Before I finish this FunZone Vulcan Ripe Anus review, I want to talk about one final complaint. On Amazon a lot of reviewers mentioned that the toy was too tight. I saw a lot of negative comments about guys being unable to fit inside or even get past the opening. While this may be true if you’re hung like a horse, I personally did not have any problems. Getting in was a tight fit, but that’s the point. You’re supposed to be fucking a nice tight ass, not some floppy and used up hole.
If you’re an average sized guy, or a little bit bigger, you shouldn’t have a lot of problems. Will it be a snug fit? You bet. But is it impossible? Hell no!
I’m a little above average size (if I squint and hold the tape measure just right) and I got in fine. It took a little work, but it was no different than if you were working your way into an actual girl. If you lube up both the inside of the toy and your cock, you can squeeze yourself in rather easily.
How To Increase Suction And Reduce This Toy’s Noise
If you want to make this unit quieter and increase the tightness, all you have to do is cut off the plastic cord in back and tape over the two small holes. I used ordinary electrical tape (although duct tape will work too) to seal up the openings.
This simple modification (which took all of 20 seconds) increased the toy’s suction immensely and cut back on the noise. While the unit still made some sounds (especially when I sped up my strokes) it wasn’t nearly loud enough for anyone else to have heard. If you decide to order one of these I’d highly recommend taping over the holes.
For the price this is a fantastic product. If you’re looking to get your first sex toy, or just want to spice things up with some anal sex, definitely consider this unit. It’s inexpensive, feels great, and can be reused as many times as you’d like.
However, if you do order, I’d also recommend cutting off the unit’s plastic cord and taping over the small holes in the back of the container. This will heighten your pleasure and keep the noise down while you bury yourself in some tight backdoor bliss.
P.S. Be sure to lube up both yourself and the toy before penetration. This will make it a lot easier to get your shaft inside.
Photo credits: www.amazon.com